what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
