we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
