i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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