Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
