i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
