In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
