At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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