Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
