she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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