We're like a lot better than the average bears
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
