my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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