She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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