do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
