Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
