thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i think i have two assholes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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