i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
