So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
