when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize