brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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