yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
