I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
