Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
