just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
