Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
