whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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