My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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