we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
