i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This is the high leading the old right now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize