I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize