I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
