New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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