she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
