Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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