they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
