oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
