it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
