i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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