Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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