we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
