Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
