I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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