Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
