just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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