he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize