can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
