if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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