he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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