I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
