three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
