I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
