That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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