did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
