Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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