is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
