Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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