I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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