Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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