I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
