Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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