Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
