are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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