she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
