hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
